I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think a kid would responsible me up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
