Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
