yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just gift wrapped bread.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
