Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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