Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
