Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
