i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
