Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just high enough for therapy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
