Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
