So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize