I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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