Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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