are you still at the devil's house?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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