I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
