my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
