I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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