Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
