your parents love me but you hate me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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