Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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