Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
