Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
