I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
