I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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