My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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