"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
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would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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