Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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