butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
