Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
