Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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