i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
