Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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