my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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