her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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