I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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