Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
