I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
