uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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