hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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