You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
