would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
