im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
