I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
