YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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