They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
