Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
