Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
