i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
