i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
