Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
