Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
