You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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