my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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