I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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