yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Vodka?
Forever.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
