I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
