I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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