spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
