she woke up with a sticky ear
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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