How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
