Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
