he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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