so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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