we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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