look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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